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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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20 entries this month
 

blue...

15:44 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 737


So there was I sitting in the backroom Thursday afternoon, after housework and, cleaning the mirror at 2:20 in the afternoon. It was actually too cold to go out and, well too cold TO DO ANYTHING... hands are just not supposed to be blue... and, as I had no voluntary work, I had no cooking to do either... 'twas Dad's turn.


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**smiles**

16:14 Dec 27 2011
Times Read: 740


I wrote a damn good crappy letter, so can relax a bit now, after my walk...



...watch a video ((**smiles** )) and, a film laters.



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Yorkshire Pudding and 'Immortal'.

01:37 Dec 27 2011
Times Read: 742


I felt sluggish when I first woke, with very high winds outside. Then I realised it was Monday and although late up, there had been no accounting for my Dad, who had already begun doing the housework, nevermind the fact it was a Bank Holiday. Needless to say, I was soon working with him, to prepare the rooms in the back, for him to hoover. Well, come the afternoon, it was out with the cookbooks, to see how to make Yorkshire Pudding. Because much as we were have a can of beef, in gravy, for our meal, I wanted the taste I recalled and, I realized it wasn’t too hard to make, at all. That done I went a walk, to take a birthday card and present of a disc, for a walk with me, to someone I hoped didn’t expect the post. And yes, come our meal, I had enjoyed the Yorkshire as much as I had thought I might. After a rest and writing awhile, I had watched BBC Politics with Dad awhile, to Dad’s frustration and my interest and amusement, as a bunch of civil servants, led by ‘Sir’ Gus O’Donnell did everything they to obscure the truth, as they gave their answers to a committee. Well, having watched that, I needed diversion so I’d watched, ‘Immortal’, one of my comfort films, like ‘Hitchhikers Guide’ is one of my comfort books… And, thanks to my lack of a definitive memory recall, I had enjoyed the film as much this time as the very first time I saw it brilliant movie…


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...has no heart

00:44 Dec 26 2011
Times Read: 746


I was up at nine to the phone going off. It’d been my brother, wanting my Dad. Needless to say, it being Christmas Day, I was up with the fire on in quick shape, then got my presents out, to open with him, in the warm. And later after I got dressed slowly, as Dad cooked the meal. We’d decided to eat at two and, so we had, enjoying our ‘usual’ Sunday roast, of chicken, roast parsnips and potatoes, served with sprouts and a fine red wine. I had made custard to serve with the Christmas Pudding. Granted, it was chicken and not turkey, but it was the Sunday meal I recall enjoying so much while my Mother was still alive. Well, after the meal and a coffee I had finally gone for the walk I’d intended for the last two days. And, though the knees ached when I’d finally got back, the skies down at Raby and, then looking back down the hill, leading back down to the Mere were awesome. Come the evening I watched Doctor Who and such was it’s content that I’d say, “Anyone who didn’t watch that episode without crying has no heart.” I’d then watched ‘Strictly’, recalling how I used to watch such things Tina. Dad had been disappointed with the Johnny Cash Christmas special, from the late sixties, early seventies. And, though I'd kinda liked it, the show had been twee.

But, I enjoyed a glass of ginger wine and, a Belgium chocolate as I watched it. I had finished my night with the episodes of ‘Enterprise’ based in the alternate Universe.

It was a show I liked, with a story I’d recalled fondly: and, I still enjoyed it. Aye, it seems that Christmas is assuredly a time of sweet memories, tears and smiles… And for me, this had not been a recreation of a Past Christmas... more of a contented Present.


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"Why not?"

01:03 Dec 25 2011
Times Read: 749


I stayed in all Friday, after all ‘Why not?’ I was warm and, I’d needed to rest anyway. Well, come Saturday and Christmas Eve and pleasant weather outside I had continued to stay in, bathe, cooked a good meal, then finish the DVD I’d been making, that included ‘Poolboy Drowning Out The Fury’, starring Kevin Sorbo, which I’d watched awhile, before I had prepared a distinctly homemade Christmas video… *



**Grins**


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that’s why we’re there...

00:02 Dec 24 2011
Times Read: 751


I went to Karl’s Wednesday evening, after an afternoon with a friend. Karl had showed me a hard copy ‘book’ of his work, which he and I had spent so much work on. When he had showed it to me, I had choked up goodstyle and nearly cried with sheer pride, for him and me, after seeing my name in the acknowledgements page.. On our way back to the station Karl took me to Azda, to price a tv for Dad and to get a whiskey for me. As it happened, he looked at the whiskey and the Litre was about forty pence more. So I went home with a Litre, of a whiskey I quite like. Neither Dad nor I had slept well, him thinking of the leak in the roof and me, worrying ‘bout him. Talking of Azda, which I had been, we went on a Thursday this week, because of Christmas, after doing the housework. I was horrified to note just how many articles had gone up in price this week. So much for effin globalization and, a world market: there’s food from all over the world and, little from England. And, what’s there is going up in price. Come the evening and the project, I was disappointed when only six arrived at the church doors looking for a meal, when we’d cooked for forty and, had gateau for the same number of people. Well, for over ten years, Roger and I have had a tenet: ‘As long as one person gets a meal who needs it, then that’s why we’re there.’


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...and, somewhat wet.

01:35 Dec 22 2011
Times Read: 752


Tuesday was the travelling day I’d intended. Needless to say, by the time I I had started the fine weather I’d had while claiming my coin had gone and, yet again I’d been travelling in a shower. I’d gone to Ingeus first, to discuss my new contract with the dole, how many dole offices might soon be closing on the Wirral and, what plans might be drawn up for me, come the new year, to help me find employ. Then I got the bus, the ten as it happens, which took me to Liscard and Andy, Vicky’s brother.

Well he wasn’t in, so I left his card with his Dad over the road, then carried on walking; and with Mandy going to se Storm at cadets, I hadn’t thought I’d get to leave my cakes or get a hug. But, I had. And then, it was off to Pete and Vicky’s and, he’d given me an audio recording of a Cumawumba gig we went to in 2008, as well as an invite to his 50th Birthday Party. And when I left theirs, after leaving more rock buns, I went to get the bus, that I’d just missed. So it had either been a wait for over forty minutes, or walk to Birkenhead, walking over the docks, as it continued to rain on me. That is what I’d done, arriving home more than a tad tired and, somewhat wet.


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At least that’d worked for me...

01:30 Dec 20 2011
Times Read: 754


Come Monday, the rain fell as if Noah might be expecting another Ark to be built, through the early morning and through the day. To me, that was irrelevant, for I’d had a mission to fulfil. So, with memories of far bigger lists delivered on previous years, I’d taken my few Christmas cards to be delivered, for a walk.



“Take an umbrella,” Dad had said to me, time and again. Finally I’d relented, much to my displeasure. But, I’ll concede that doing so probably prevented getting too wet. Although, it had made it damn awkward to post a card, with the umbrella perched between my chin and shoulder. And, perhaps foolishly; I’d decided to pick up my meds on the way. Now, I HATE umbrellas and the carrier-bag with the meds in on the other side, I’d felt unbalanced. [[**Grins** “What? Me, unbalanced, never!”]]



Anyway, mission completed, I returned home, to start making a DVD and then bake, as I’d intended, It wasn’t till the evening that I learnt to my disappointment, that come Tuesday I’d probably get to see Pete ‘n Vicky after Ingeus in Birkenhead, but I’d not get to see Mandy. That’d got to me.



Yet, the DVD worked well though and, now I have the live-action/CGI masterpiece ‘Immortel’ on DVD, with menu to suit. At least that’d worked for me, as I wanted.





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...rock buns for a Christmas present?

00:58 Dec 19 2011
Times Read: 764


Lord it was cold on Saturday and slippery as hell underfoot. I had a really rotten nights sleep. Then, come Sunday morning I looked out the front window to see the results of some heavy rain early morning and, the snow had defrosted somewhat, so that patches of green showed through the white; patches that grew larger through the day, as the white grew smaller. I didn’t go out, but did have red and numb fingers through much of the day, until I got the courage up, to have a bath. And boy, did my old body feel oh-so-relaxed afterward.



Later, I helped Dad awhile, with some net research on the company who coated our roof and, are now out of business. Well, the firm has. Needless to say in this day and age, the fellow who ran Aquashield now has a new business, doing just the same. Typical.

After that I did some baking, the results of which weren’t as I’d hoped for, albeit they tasted nice. But, I’d getting some more practice soon, I knew, as both Mandy and Pete ‘n Vicky were getting rock buns for a Christmas present. Well, that’s the idea.



Come the evening I found myself enthralled by the episode number ten of ‘Person Of Interest’, which had intrigued me as much as episodes one, two and three of ‘Angel’ and ‘The Crow’.



As I put the green wheelie bin out, clad in my rob and wearing my slip-on’s, I’d got to thinking, as a Scorpio can, about ways and means of getting one’s own back’, on the fellow who owned Aquashield and, burnt my Dad. I think I have it.


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First snow...

23:45 Dec 16 2011
Times Read: 769


We looked out the window first thing and saw the first snow of the year and then we’d dithered as Dad and I had tried to decide whether to go out the shops or not. As it is, we went. The snow got heavier, then wetter... then slushier, then froze, as I was returning from some shopping and the doctors, after seeing to my Dad’s meds. But at the end of a very loooooong day I felt very tired, but a tad more chipper in myself.


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DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
00:25 Dec 20 2011

With how bad my Arthritis has been acting up recently....I dred snow lol.





 

Depression is...

16:05 Dec 15 2011
Times Read: 771


Depression is as it is... just sometimes, something little is enough to tip one over. As it is, I do without meds, won't go on the sick and, have this fractured vertabrae. Signing on was interesting as they stood around looking at me warily, treating me caustiously, because of my letter; and, thank gawd, for voluntary work...





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DestroyingAngel
DestroyingAngel
00:26 Dec 17 2011

*big hugs*





 

"Ahhhh... Aero..."

23:28 Dec 14 2011
Times Read: 774


I went to Karl’s Wednesday evening, to finish off the proof-reading that I’d been doing Tuesday afternoon, when he paid for my transport. And, even though his tutor had been good enough to supply him with lots of guidance, I still came away from his feeling as though I earned the large bar of Aero mint chocolate he bought for me at the new Azda, on the way down to the station. It’d felt good, to feel needed.


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And, I told a friend...

14:16 Dec 14 2011
Times Read: 777


I went to the doctor yesterday, run down: seems it's more emotional and, I figure it's allied to 'being ill' - and, my Mum's Anniversary of my Mum's death and... well, that and, trying to help my Dad... it's frustrating and yes, am going through a trough of depression.



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moonkissed
moonkissed
20:44 Dec 14 2011

I loved hearing stories about your Mum.

I am glad you are getting out and about all right at all.

I heard you were to have a spot of bad weather yesterday and today.





 

The overture played out...

11:09 Dec 13 2011
Times Read: 804


I’d logged onto VR at my usual time, to find three messages waiting for me. One of them had been naught but irritating. Someone had read something I’d written and, chosen to completely misunderstand a comment I’d made, intended to be a friendly, as I would to almost anyone on the site. For her to choose to misunderstand me and then utilise her sexuality in her response was irksome, particularly in lieu all I know of myself. Grant you, I’d explained myself with a response, but she had totally peeved me. In the end, I’d put her rudeness down to her youth, lack of experience and general naivety, then gone to bed to write… as the rain began to fall, again.


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Oceanne
Oceanne
11:23 Dec 13 2011

That happens all too often here.



How annoying.





moonkissed
moonkissed
15:42 Dec 13 2011

Good for you! I will always choose the path of the more highly evolved human.

Unless I have PMS.





xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
17:09 Dec 13 2011

You have been around here too long, and we all know you have always been a gentleman N :)





Damia
Damia
23:55 Dec 13 2011

Some people do seem to be like that, jumping to conclusions an immaturity both. It can be agitating...





 

‘Hot Fuzz’, ‘Paul’ … well cool.

00:09 Dec 13 2011
Times Read: 808


Since discovering just how funny Simon Pegg can be, with his zombie movie and then Paul ‘the other day’, I rose in the evening to watch ‘Hot Fuss’, as once more the black outside was rainy and stormy and just, well… generally blech, as it’s been for several nights now. That said, Monday had been pleasant for much of the day and, I’d had the best of it while I was out, posting cards and my last two parcels, before Christmas. I had to go out a second time, as the chill started to settle in, to go see my doctor, in part to explain what I’ll be doing over the back and, to talk of my feeling ‘run down.’ And, I’m lucky with this doctor, a she lets me talk, in a way that doctors just don’t do nowadays. And although she wants to ‘sign-me off’ onto the sick still, at least she understands my venom toward the panel in Birkenhead who assess such things for the state, so realises that’s a no-no. But, she did listen. And, when I talked of the feeling ‘run-down’ bit, she’d said that physically I’m ‘alright’, but… and that, I’d already understood. And, that is why I’d gone… And yes, ‘Hot Fuzz’ was good – very British, silly & enjoyable. So it’s official, After all those years of not watching the tv series he was in, I like Simon Pegg, ‘Hot Fuzz’, ‘Paul’ … well cool.


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...some relaxation and, the ‘Warehouse 13’

14:09 Dec 10 2011
Times Read: 818




I’ve been feeling very tired of late... and, what with the wind and, everything else; Thursday night at the project had been quite physically draining. It had been good to say an ‘old’ volunteer at the project, I call rainbow and her name is Nadia. She had been well cool when my Mum died and, now lives back in Vienna, after the death of her own, recently...



Then Friday after Dad’s car mirror broke as he reversed down the drive, in part due to the windy, the day carried on in that vein. Eventually I went a walk, as I needed it, onna food mission for Dad. On my return, my back ACHED. That said, some relaxation and, the ‘Warehouse 13’ Christmas show and I’d felt much better indeed.

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moonkissed
moonkissed
15:49 Dec 10 2011

I loved that Episode! I equally enjoyed the Eureka and Haven Christmas shows.





 

‘There’s Love and, there’s being in Love.’

15:58 Dec 07 2011
Times Read: 826


A creature of obsession, I’ve been more obsessed with the past than usual for the last few days: it could be that it’s Christmas, with memories of all those I’ve lost at this time of year, like my Gran and my Mum; or it could be the memory of Danny Kaye and the little white bull. And yes, I know Danny Kaye didn’t sing ‘little white bull’, but there is a point to that, in a typically Neil-type fashion. I’d gone to the doctors on Monday afternoon and, got there twenty minutes late. “She will see you, but you’ll have to wait, is that alright with you?” I had said ‘yes’ of course. Then as I sat, a thought occurred to me, I was supposed to see about a chiropodist, for the not-so septic toe, so got up to make enquiry. On my return to my seat, a woman about my age with a shock of white hair was sitting to my right and, the sign before me suddenly read Ms So-an-So and, I knew the name, from a thousand million years ago. But, I hardly recalled where from. Then, the woman to my right got up, to go to see the doctor. And, as the doors closed after her, I recalled who Ms So-an-So was. She had been the daughter of a friend of my Mum’s, who I’d visit with her. An, little So-an-So, as she had been then, had played me records, as I recall, of Danny Kaye, Tommy Steele and others. And, she’s probably the first girl I remember liking. And there she had been, then gone. So I waited awhile, to hopefully see her, when she came out. But, timed moved-on, as it does and still she was a no-show and, I’d had to go. As soon as I was home, I’d made sautéed potatoes and, then later, much later, I’d looked in the telephone book, to see if she were listed. She hadn’t been. Tuesday, as my project rolled-on and, I made another dvd, I read the Radio Times and was struck by a quote from an interview with Anna Friel. ‘There’s Love and, there’s being in Love.’ Now, I’ve heard variations on that one over the years and, it was always said by a woman, often said to mitigate cheating, with a sort of ‘Well… I couldn’t REALLY help it… I might still love you… But, I’m not “In Love” with you…’

When I love, it’s forever: So that remark never sat well with me, not whatsoever.







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jaggedxtears
jaggedxtears
18:24 Dec 07 2011

Isn't it strange how life moves you this way? I too find an old familiar face and find i'm a coward to say anything...and only afterward do regret not saying hi or going down that old memory lane......





 

WE need that money...

01:06 Dec 05 2011
Times Read: 828


Loathe as I am to believe anything I read in the newspapers, particularly nowadays; I find what I read today both illuminating, and quite irritating in turn.

It seems, according to the press, that our government is seeking to enshrine in law, that we pay a specific fixed figure of our GDP as foreign-aid, at a time when we’re still considered broke; and, we the tax payer are paying dividends to the shareholders of the banks that we have supported financially, through our taxes; and, while we are still paying bonuses to bankers, to reward them for the mess they got us in. WE need that money, to provide for those who are fuel-starved, during winter; for our hospitals and, for the homeless, those I see every Thursday.

One million, or so, goes to India. I knew that, but I didn’t know they gave aid to Africa. Money goes to China, which is currently underwriting America’s debt, while being sought by the EU, for a bailout and yet, we’ve been giving them aid. Does that sound right?

Grant you, I understand, “it’s all politics”, with a small pee.

The thing is, what’s the point of playing politics with money that we need, except perhaps, to benefit a few: meaning, a few business’s with interests, of course.

Please Alison, will you consider the points I have made in this letter?

We’re paying off debt; the people are paying for it; and yet, this country is giving away millions. And still, the debt is rising, due to the government getting yet more loans. WE need that money.


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Come Friday...

16:36 Dec 04 2011
Times Read: 832


Friday morning my body ached when I rose, although it wasn’t a bad ache; it was a kinda, I’m alive and ‘feelin fine’ sort of alive. And even going round the Adza with D\ad had been something I could be light-hearted about. Come the afternoon, I had resumed my DVD project, having learnt enough of Converter X to do so. AI even got some rock buns made that had worked well and, kinda made up for the balls up I’d made almost a week earlier.



Come Saturday, after a night of rain that had kept me awake, there was sun and a chill wind as I went a walk, then returned home to rest awhile, before I made an apple crumble, with Bramley apple I froze months ago; and they still had ‘that tang’ that my Dad likes to taste in an apple.



Come late evening I finally got ‘Chanbara Beauty’ and ‘Umbrage’ on DVD as I wanted, while writing letters and stories, with my mind well wired, such are my nighttimes, of late. But, I cannot complain: I’ve got a lot created and, that’s good.


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new story... well, edited...

13:52 Dec 01 2011
Times Read: 839


new story... well, edited... up... part 2 tomorrow, then the epilogue day after.


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